Sunday, May 31, 2009

Cry Baby

I am a big fat cry baby. I am. I know I am. I cry for all kinds of reasons.

As you can see from my last post, sometimes I get frustrated and I hold it in, hold it in, then when it finally comes out, it's got some pretty good pressure behind it. And I cry. It lets off the steam and helps me feel better. I have had a couple of those moments in the last month as I have been frustrated with my health. That reminds me-I told my friend Lanae that we can no longer be friends since I could no longer face her. She happened to come over one Sunday night after a very busy weekend while I was sick in bed. I was super scary looking and all clammy from having a really high fever. I was telling John about the upcoming week and all the things I had to do and I cried. I didn't cry too hard because I couldn't get the air to make it super sobby, what with the pneumonia and all, but I had some good tears coming out of my make-up-lacking eyes. In walked Lanae. Ah crud. I am a cry baby, but I am also fairly prideful and private about it. Lanae sat down on my bed and gave me a big hug. Did I mention I was really, REALLY scary looking? And shoot, how does she know if I am contagious or not?! She didn't listen when I told her I couldn't be her friend anymore-she came right back another day cleaning my house and bringing pizza.

Saturday night I finally took off for Salt Lake. As I was cruising down Dreamy Draw, I felt that burning in my eyes. Like I was gonna cry.

I have been hoping to leave town all week, but I honestly just never got to packing-too tired. My sisters both kept close tabs on me as they knew John was out of town. Nicole called to tell me she was coming over from Page to take care of me. I reassured her that I was doing all right, but inside I felt really good knowing she meant it when she said she would come over if I wanted her to. My other sister Kim called to make sure I could drive that far and assured me they could come meet me to help anywhere along the road.

Obviously on Friday night I was quite frustrated. Much of the frustration came from the fact that I just have been spinning my wheels all week. I wasn't a moment closer to being prepared to go out of town. Saturday morning I was determined to make it happen. The kids packed themselves (quite interesting by the way). Because I have packed to leave town innumerable times, I started feeling discouraged as I realized we were never going to make it today. Then I got a phone call. It was from my friend Lucy. She is a treat. See her blog here. I have somewhat jokingly told her that if I didn't like her so much, I would not even consider being her friend as she lives outside of my mental geographic boundaries on friendship (translation: she lives on the other side of town). I know, how lame am I? Anyway-Lucy called and offered to take my kids for the afternoon. Hallelujah!! Of course, prideful brat that I am, I couldn't immediately say how terrific that would be, I hemmed and hawed and felt lame for needing help. In the end (OK, it didn't take much) though, I relented and she drove the 20 minutes she lives away so she could pick up my kids and drive them 20 min. back to her far away home.

About this time, Greg (Lanae's man) came by so I could show him our sprinklers. He was going to make sure that our stuff all got watered while I was gone. He had to see what to reset on the timers (No, I don't know how to do this myself) With the kiddos gone, I was able to continue packing and prepping for our drive. Evening was rapidly approaching and Lucy called to see if I was ready for her to return my offspring. But she didn't stop there. She enlisted the help of her busy husband and they both drove (in separate cars) the 20 min. back to my house...oh, wait-2 cars @ 20 min each = 40 minutes driving time... to help me load the truck with suitcases and bikes. It was obvious her husband had been an Elder's Quorum President before as it was all packed neatly and space efficiently in no time. Let me add that all up...20+20+40+40=120 minutes or 2 hours in driving time alone!!!

As we drove out of the house, it started pouring rain and Daisy kept following us. I called our neighbors the Blakes and they happily put her in their garage until we were off. This is the point where I got that burny feeling in my eyes. I thought of all the people that were willing to help me and my family out-at great inconvenience to themselves. I thought of how healthy me and my family have typically been. I thought of my husband who was cutting his trip short to meet me in SLC. I thought of my extended family. I thought of my friends. I thought of how nice it was to have rain for my flowers. I thought of many other little blessings in my life. And I cried-not too much as this would be unsafe while driving-and my heart felt really full. It made the drive to Moab go a lot easier.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me and wished me well! I am grateful!!! I am sick of being sick, and sometimes I am frustrated-- but when weighed against all that I am blessed with, it's nothing to cry about.


Lucy said...

Even though I know I am living dangerously close to being outside of your zone...I like you too much for you to ignore me. So...sorry. You will just have to be my friend:)

I know how hard it must be for someone as competent and giving as you to be the recipient of service, but it really does make the rest of us feel good to return a small nth of all the kindness you constantly give and show. Sorry you had to suffer pneumonia for it to happen...but the Lord must have needed to seriously slow you down for this kind of opportunity!

Feel better. Rest. Recover. And then come home and play:)

meegz said...

i have to agree with lucy on this one!:) Ditto to her.

George and Eva Ross said...

Your blogs made me cry too. Not so much for the challenges you are having but for the fact that we are not there to "take over" and help out. I've told Mom several times that perhaps we should leave the mission field and rush to your side. But she always makes me realize that we are where we should be and that we can help more by being obedient and praying for you. We love you so much and look forward to when we return so we can be available to hurry over and be your mom and dad again. Get Well Soon!!!

Love Dad

Mimi said...

What a great comment to get from your Dad!! Bet that made you cry again too! Glad you're feeling better now.

Nate said...

You are just too awesome!